Larry Baer Spotted Wooing Mystery Investors

Giants Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer, Larry "Mini-Me" Baer, was spotted at Monday night's game against the Houston Astros with mystery guests, heretofore unseen at AT&T Park.

Rumor on the street is Baer has been busy trying to lure suckers....err, investors to purchase the balance of Giants owner and managing general partner, Peter "Remember It Was ME Who Saved The Giants" Magowan's share of the team. Magowan, at 66, has decided to retire at the peak of his franchises' valuation, recently assessed by Forbes at nearly half a billion. Having milked the great Barry Bonds for every penny (going so far as to hawk rubber chickens to park goers for $15 a pop the past few years), and then saddling his team with the worst long term free-agent contract in baseball history (Barry Zito's 7 year $126 million deal), Magowan couldn't have picked a better time to fuck off.

So, what changes will the loss of Magowan bring to the Giants?

• A new commitment to winning, instead of mere hero worship? Perhaps.
• Honest-to-God accountability from the general manager position? Certainly.
• The end of overwrought pre-game on-field celebrations? Indubitably.

Whatever's in store, the Giants franchise is at critical crossroads. Dwindling crowds are proof the honeymoon is over at AT&T Park. Hopefully any newcomer will consider bringing a winning tradition to San Francisco their civic duty, and not merely view this investment as a way to make a buck by shortchanging fans with, what Baer himself labels, the "Ballpark Experience".